Season 5

Ep. 22: Are You Better Off?: No Choice

September 11, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 5Chummy, PrivacyStaff

Ron Swanson is such a private person. Ron Swanson: “Lending? Makes it sound like I had a choice in the matter. I never should have agreed to this. Or let you know that I have a cabin. Or gotten to Read more [...]

Ep. 22: Are You Better Off?: Buttload

September 11, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 5Tom HaverfordStaff

Diddy may, or may not have offered Tom Haverford a substantial amount of money for Rent-A-Swag. Ron Swanson: “How big a buttload, son?” Read more [...]

Ep. 22: Are You Better Off?: Investor

September 11, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 5Capitalism, Tom HaverfordStaff

Ron Swanson prefers Tom Haverford teaches his potential investor the ultimate lesson in capitalism. Ron Swanson: “If someone is interested in buying you out, it means you are doing something right. Read more [...]

Ep. 22: Are You Better Off?: I’m the Same

September 11, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 5Leslie KnopeStaff

Ron Swanson does not like change. Ron Swanson: “Leslie's going around asking everybody if they're better off than they were a year ago? All I care about is that I'm the same. If I'm the same as I was Read more [...]

Ep. 21: Swing Vote: Cutting Projects

September 11, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 5Budget, Government, Leslie KnopeStaff

In other words, Ron Swanson enjoys cutting any project. Ron Swanson: “I believe in cutting useless government projects. I also believe in cutting useful projects, future projects and past projects. Read more [...]

Ep. 21: Swing Vote: Losing on Purpose

September 11, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 5Leslie KnopeStaff

According to Ron Swanson, tanking is bad as lying. Ron Swanson: “Losing on purpose is a form of lying. You're only as good as your word.” Read more [...]

Ep. 21: Swing Vote: Gorilla

September 11, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 5Staff

Ron Swanson does not quite understand the art of mini golf course obstacles. Ron Swanson: “Why is there a gorilla guarding this ginger bread house.” Read more [...]

Ep. 21: Swing Vote: Principles

September 11, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 5Leslie KnopeStaff

Ron Swanson will not be bullied or shamed over his set of principles. Ron Swanson: “Leslie, you should know by now that I live my life according to a certain set of principles and I do not deviate from Read more [...]

Ep. 20: Jerry’s Retirement: Thanking Jerry

September 11, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 5Chummy, Jerry GergichStaff

Ron Swanson thanks Jerry, and gives him a heartfelt goodbye. Ron Swanson: “You're right. Jerry thank you for your service. Goodbye.” Read more [...]

Ron Swanson Quotes

A website dedicated to the quotes and wisdom of Ron Ulysses Swanson

Season 5

Ep. 22: Are You Better Off?: No Choice

Ep. 22: Are You Better Off?: Buttload

Ep. 22: Are You Better Off?: Investor

Ep. 22: Are You Better Off?: I’m the Same

Ep. 21: Swing Vote: Cutting Projects

Ep. 21: Swing Vote: Losing on Purpose

Ep. 21: Swing Vote: Gorilla

Ep. 21: Swing Vote: Principles

Ep. 20: Jerry’s Retirement: Thanking Jerry