Extras: Ron Swanson Solitude of Nature

The Solitude of Nature By Ron Swanson

This extra appears on the City of Pawnee official website. Leslie Knope asked Ron Swanson to contribute to her book, “Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America”, by writing about living in the woods of Pawnee for one month.

The intro is quoted below, and you can also read all of his daily journal entries “One Month Living in the Woods In Pawnee” about hunting and whiskey.

Ron Swanson:

“Hello. I am Ron Swanson. Leslie has asked me to contribute to this book. I told her I was not interested one hundred times and she kept right on asking. I have worked with her long enough to know that this means I have to do whatever the thing is that she has asked me to do. Once she asked me for permission to hire a mime troupe to perform at the community center, and I told her she could not, and she sent the mimes to follow me around for the entire day and pretend they were crying, ostensibly because of my cruelty. Another time I told her she could not create a “double-Dutch jump rope club”(?) in a park, and she sat cross-legged on my desk for thirty hours. Dammit, I’m getting angry just remembering these things.”

“She also does all my work for me – not because I ask her to, just because she wants to, and I do not – so I owe her a lot of favors, so I will contribute to this book. She suggested several articles I had no interest in writing. I countered by suggesting that instead of writing any of those articles, I would instead go to my cabin in the woods for a month and pretend our conversation had never happened. She got very excited and told me that this was an excellent idea, because then I could write of my experiences “off the beaten path” in Pawnee. “Like Thoreau at Walden Pond!” she squealed. I told her Thoreau actually went home every night he was “living” at Walden Pond (true – look it up), and that I thought that made him kind of a pussy. She told me to watch my language and that I had one month to turn in my diary. And now here we are.”