Grew up in a small Indiana town with a population of 600 people.
Has cried twice in his life: First when he was seven and was hit by a school bus. And then again at Lil’ Sebastian’s Funeral. (We have seen him cry / sob other times, but these are the only two occasions he’ll admit to.)
Only has 9 toes at the most.
Is believed to have only left southwestern Indiana once.
Had the same 1990’s reddish Buick since it was new.
Owns a home on the other side of “The Bulge” (Pawnee’s only gay bar).
Secretly loves puzzles, riddles, and scavenger hunts.
Pet Peeves
Surprises
Hugs / PDA
Awards
Liars
Skim milk
Healthy / organic food
Ethnic food
Veganism
Spiritualism
Communism
Socialism
Anything Un-American
Jean Ralphio
The Library
Councilman Jeremy Jam
Food and Alcohol
Favorite drink is Lagavulin Single Malt Scotch Whiskey.
His favorite restaurant in Pawnee is inside the Bowling Alley.
Other favorite restaurants are J.J.’s Diner and Mulligan’s.
After Mulligan’s, his next favorite steak house is St. Elmo’s.
Favorite food (in general) is breakfast food, followed by any other variation of bacon, or meat.
Once ate 51 eggs in one sitting, allowing his picture to be hung in the Hall of Fame in J.J.’s Diner.
JJ’s serves his favorite breakfast food “The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse.”
Has food named after him at one of the local food trucks. “The Swanson” is a bacon wrapped turkey leg.
Every day for the last twelve years, he has eaten a hamburger from the commissary for one of his lunches.
The Tammys
Prefers dark-haired women.
Tammy One (his first wife) was the Candy Striper who helped deliver him. She was also his Sunday School teacher, elementary math teacher, baby sitter, and Drivers Ed Instructor.
Ron can’t smell, and often screams when he sneezes due to having a door slammed in his face by Tammy Two.
Once set his bed on fire. It is unclear whether he and/or Tammy Two were actually sleeping on it at the time.
Can sense Tammy Two’s presence.
Politics and Government
Unapologetic Libertarian.
Prides himself on saving taxpayer money.
Turned down an offer to be Assistant City Manager.
Outdoors and Recreational Sports
Has been known for not only cast and fly fishing, but also goes noodling (fishing barehanded).
Only fishes for sport, since fish meat is practically a vegetable.
A big fan of WNBA basketball. admires strong female athletes like Steffi Graf and Cheryl Swoopes.
Once bowled a 300, but did it underhanded, and was too embarrassed to allow his name to be put up.
Craftsmanship: Wood, Metal, and Leather
At age 9, ran the floor of a sheet metal factory as shop supervisor.
Made Ben & Leslie’s wedding rings from a melted down sconce in Ann’s house.
Has won an award for best chair at The Indiana Woodworking Ceremony. (the only award he appreciates)
Was featured in Bloosh magazine for his rocking chair.
Mark Brendanawicz was the first guest into Ron’s woodshop in a decade.
Built a crib for Ann and Chris.
Built his first chair at 9 years old.
Re-modeled the upper floor of City Hall all by himself.
Awards and Accolades
Won the Dorothy Everton Smythe Female Empowerment Award for Woman of the Year in Indiana.
Has won an award for best chair at The Indiana Woodworking Ceremony. (the only award he appreciates)
