Ep. 02: Ron and Jammy: Tammy Scenarios

Ron and Leslie go over some scenarios, so Jamm might learn how to thwart Tammy’s sexual desires. Leslie does a flawless impersonation of Tammy Two, by the way…

Scenario One

Leslie Knope:

“Hey there horsey, time to mount up and ride on into boner town what do you say we get stanky in that pet store bathroom huh Jamm huh.”

Jeremy Jam:

“Do it, do it.”

Ron Swanson:

“There will be no sex today, Tammy, instead why don’t you go into the pet store and feed yourself to the snakes. To hell with you woman. Good bye.”

Scenario Two

Leslie Knope:

“Hey yah big hunk of wiener meat, I’ve got 40 hand towels some energy bars, and a chinese finger trap lets get gross.”

Ron Swanson:

“This gambit has failed. To hell with you woman. Goodbye.”

Jeremy Jam:

“What are you wearing?”

Ron Swanson:

“It’s a crotch blinder of my own design. In this scenario she will be coming at you pantless.”

Scenario Three

Ron Swanson:

“And hold. What was your mistake?…You didn’t check the Armoire. Tammy once camped out in my attic for six days awaiting my arrival, she survived on rats and rain water. Lets run it again.”