After redacting his medical records, Ann Perkins tried to get Ron Swanson to answer some basic questions about his medical history.
Ann Perkins:
“Ron, you redacted all the information.”
Ron Swanson:
“I answered some of them.”
Ann Perkins:
“For date of birth, you wrote spring time.”
Ron Swanson:
“Which is true.”
Ann Perkins:
“Everything you write down is confidential. We need you to give real answers.”
Ron Swanson:
“Fine.”
Ann Perkins:
“How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?”
Ron Swanson:
“One.”
Ann Perkins:
“That’s it. One drink.”
Ron Swanson:
“One shelf.”
Ann Perkins:
“Do you exercise?”
Ron Swanson:
“Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking.”
Ann Perkins:
“Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?”
Ron Swanson:
“I have an uncle who does yoga.”
Ann Perkins:
“Allergies?”
Ron Swanson:
“Cowardice and weak willed men. And Hazel nuts.”
Ann Perkins:
“Sexual history?”
Ron Swanson:
“Epic and private.”
Ann Perkins:
“OK, I’m gonna get your doctor. He’s a rude, brash jerk. You’ll love him.”