By Swanson standards

Ep. 09: Ron and Diane: By Swanson Standards

Ron Swanson and Leslie measure their friendship by Swanson Standards.

Leslie Knope:

“No, she left because of me. She’s threatened by our relationship.”

Ron Swanson:

“That’s ridiculous, I don’t think of you romantically. You’re pro government, you never stop talking, and you have blonde hair. You’re my worst nightmare.”

Leslie Knope:

“Excuse me, one man’s worst nightmare is every other mans total package. But the point is I don’t think it’s about dating, I kind of see where Diane is coming from. We are close friends and I am very involved in your life.”

Ron Swanson:

“I wouldn’t say we’re close.”

Leslie Knope:

“By Swanson Standards we’re close. I know when your birthday is.”

Ron Swanson:

“So does Baskin Robbins.”

Leslie Knope:

“I know that you secretly love artichokes, and plums.”

Ron Swanson:

“Keep your voice down woman. Fine we’re friends. So what do I do? Tammy is waiting for my in my car.”

Leslie Knope:

“I think you should take my car and go get Diane. And I will handle Tammy.”

Ron Swanson:

“Thank you. Protect your eyes she’s a gouger.”