Ron Swanson and Pig Tom

Ep. 01: Ms. Knope Goes to Washington: Meet Your Meat

Ron Swanson introduces everyone to the pig, named Tom, that he will be slaughtering and grilling for the barbecue.

Ron Swanson:

“Everyone, meet your meat.”

Everyone:

“Noooo.”

Tom Haverford:

“Why are you doing this to us?”

Ron Swanson:

“Well, in my opinion not enough people have looked their dinner in the eyes and considered the circle of life. This is your dinner, his name is Tom.”

Donna Meagle:

“Hahaa, burn.”

Tom Haverford:

“Seriously?”

Ron Swanson:

“I understand that it’s hilarious, but that is his given Christian name. Tom is very smart and incredibly loyal. He’s basically a dog. A dog we’re going to cook, chew, and swallow.”

Ann Perkins:

“Dude, there’s kids around here.”

Ron Swanson:

“Good point. Which one of you youngsters wants to help me drain the blood from this animal. If you do a good job I’ll give you the bladder, you can blow it up for a fun play ball.”