Season 3

Ep. 16: Li’l Sebastian: Half Mast

March 29, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 3Bureaucracy, Li’l SebastianStaff

Ron Swanson can't hide his feeling for that magnificent little beast. Ron Swanson: “When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought alright another bureaucrat ate it. But Read more [...]

Ep. 16: Li’l Sebastian: Super Bowl Halftime Show

March 29, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 3Li’l Sebastian, Super BowlStaff

Again Ron cannot hide his feeling for the mini horse. Ron Swanson: “We need to send that glorious beast into the great beyond with a display that rivals the Super Bowl Halftime Show... Also the Read more [...]

Ep. 16: Li’l Sebastian: Jean Ralphio is a Clown

March 29, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 3Dislikes, Jean Ralphio, Least Favorite People, Tom HaverfordStaff

Jean Ralphio just started a production company, and wants to throw Li’l Sebastian’s memorial event. Ron Swanson: “Jean Ralphio is a clown.” “This is a memorial for Li’l Sebastian, not Read more [...]

Ep. 16: Li’l Sebastian: Laying Wreathes

March 29, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 3Li’l SebastianStaff

Ron Swanson prefers laying wreathes. Ron Swanson: “I think if you would know one thing about me, it would be that I prefer laying wreathes to lighting torches.” Read more [...]

Ep. 16: Li’l Sebastian: Cried Twice

March 29, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 3Li’l Sebastian, ManlinessStaff

Ron Swanson reflects back on the only two events in his lifetime that have made him cry. Ron Swanson: “I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus, and then Read more [...]

Ep. 16: Li’l Sebastian: Slow Everything Down

March 29, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 3Government, Tom Haverford, Work EthicStaff

Ron Swanson tells Tom how he really feels about him. Ron Swanson: “You have no interest in government work and you slow everything down with your selfish attitude. I’d love for you to stick around Read more [...]

Ep. 16: Li’l Sebastian: Giant Fireball

March 29, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 3Exes, Tammy, Tammy TwoStaff

Tammy Two walks up to Ron who is nowhere near in the mood for her. Ron Swanson: “If your looking for trouble take it some where else. An hour ago a giant fireball consumed my entire face and it was Read more [...]

Ep. 15: The Bubble: Enjoy the Show

March 28, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 3Donuts, Food, GovernmentStaff

One of the few times Ron enjoys being at work. Ron Swanson: “This is my favorite part about having a new city manager. They always try to shake things up and their ideas are terrible and it brings Read more [...]

Ep. 15: The Bubble: Eskimo’s Scrotum

March 28, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 3April Ludgate, Chris Traeger, Jerry Gergich, Parks Department, Tom HaverfordStaff

Ron Swanson shares a little insight with Chris about his employees. Ron Swanson: “Chris, you have come up with a plan so spectacularly horrible that it might ruin the entire department.” Chris Read more [...]

Ep. 14: Road Trip: Greedy Piglet

March 27, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 3Government, Tax PayersStaff

Ron Swanson is about to explain the ineffectiveness of Government to a nine year old girl visiting on a school field trip. Ron Swanson: “It’s never too early to learn that the government is a greedy Read more [...]

Ron Swanson Quotes

A website dedicated to the quotes and wisdom of Ron Ulysses Swanson