Season 1

Ep. 06: Rock Show: Like a Fairytale

March 5, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 1Exes, Tammy, Tammy TwoStaff

Who is Ron Swanson dating now? Ron Swanson: “Hey Mark. This is Beth, my ex-wife Tammy’s better looking sister.” (Beth introduces herself to Mark) Mark Brendanawicz: “You guys are together?” Ron Read more [...]

Ep. 06: Rock Show: Climb a Tree

March 5, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 1ManlinessStaff

Ron, Beth, Tom and Wendy are leaving the rock show. Ron is a little revved up. Ron Swanson: “Hey, who wants to see me climb a tree?” Read more [...]

Ep. 05: The Banquet: Marlene’s Nickname

March 5, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 1MarleneStaff

Ron Swanson is discussing the award banquet for Leslie's Mother. Which he will be in attendance. Ron Swanson: “The only reason anyone is going to this thing is because they're afraid of what Marlene Read more [...]

Ep. 05: The Banquet: Bacon Wrapped Shrimp

March 5, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 1Bacon, Favorite Food, Food, Government, ShrimpStaff

Ron Swanson is quite fond of all food but to mix two great tastes that taste great together, it is hard to hide one's excitement. Ron Swanson: “I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked Read more [...]

Ep. 05: The Banquet: Leslie’s Hairdo

March 5, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 1Ann Perkins, Bacon, Favorite Food, Leslie Knope, ShrimpStaff

Ron Swanson inadvertently insults Leslie’s hairdo, and refuses to share his bacon wrapped shrimp. Ron Swanson: “I like your hairdo Leslie.” Leslie Knope: “Thank you Ron.” Ron Swanson: Read more [...]

Ep. 05: The Banquet: Speech of Facts

March 5, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 1MarleneStaff

Ron Swanson is always honest but he will never be accused of ass kissing. Ron Swanson: “I refuse to lather Marlene up, kiss her ring like everybody else. Instead I'll be delivering a speech of facts.” Read more [...]

Ep. 05: The Banquet: Good Varnish

March 5, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 1Marlene, Varnish, Wood WorkingStaff

Ron's actual speech of facts for Marlene. Ron Swanson: “Marlene, is a woman. She has worked in the government for three decades. Thirty years, properly applied, that's how long a good varnish should Read more [...]

Ep. 04: The Boy’s Club: This is America

March 5, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 1America, Leslie KnopeStaff

Ron Swanson is not happy with beuracracy in any form, so he tends to be a little hostile. Especially when he feels it is unjust. Ron Swanson: “No, it's not. This is not communist China. You can not Read more [...]

Ep. 04: The Boy’s Club: Perfect Government

March 5, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 1Bureaucracy, Government, Leslie KnopeStaff

Ron Swanson spills the beans about his libertarian choices. Ron Swanson: “No, I didn't... I didn't do it for Leslie. I did it because I hate bureaucracy. My idea of a perfect government, is one guy Read more [...]

Ep. 03: The Reporter: Scrabble

March 5, 2014Quotes by Season, Season 1Exes, Scrabble, Tammy, Tom HaverfordStaff

Ron Swanson is playing Tom at Scrabble on their work computers. Tom is not trying so hard and Ron feels the need to let him know. Also get in a quick dig at his ex-wife. Ron Swanson: “Tommy Boy. Read more [...]

Ron Swanson Quotes

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